I can’t use the bathroom when I am wearing a jacket. Anatomically, physically, whatever, it is just not possible to sit down and let loose without making a mess, which is why it is so great that there are hooks in the stalls of most public rest rooms. Hooks are great in many other ways, too, of course. You can put a spare backback on one or hang an umbrella from it while you don’t need it. Or even a shirt, should you so desire and need to take yours off. Do you know what you need for that? Your shirt and a hook. You take your shirt off and put it on the hook, just benath the collar! Bada-bing, bada-bang, bada-boom! Do you want to know what you do not need to do that?
This freaking thing! What is this? Why is it even there? Who in the history of history has ever hanged a shirt from the middle of the back or somewhere about the shoulders? Exactly nobody, that’s who! Not a one!
Why is it even there? It is completely, utterly useless! Just like those stupid, pre-faded prints on t-shirts. Because I look oh so much better when my t-shirt says “Established 1965” or “High Class XX” Whatever that is supposed to mean.
But back to the topic at hand. This is what a shirt looks like hanging from the shoulder loop.
This! It is not even practical, for crying out loud! If you hang your shirt from just beneath the collar, as all the higher powers damn well intended, you grab it, yank it upward, and you are ready to go. Use the shoulder loop and all that gives you is a tangled mess that takes you the better part of a minute to untangle and get off the hook. Best case scenario. Maybe you will even rip the shoulder loop clean off the shirt. So probably that is the best case scenario, then.
But okay, maybe I am wrong on this. It has happened before, you know? So let’s not fire from the hip with this and consider the problem from all sides. The loop is there and it is obviously not meant for hanging up the shirt. So let’s think this through. Maybe it is not made for hanging it from things but for hanging things from it! Hooks are useful like that, as previously established. Maybe loops are as well. Keep losing your keys? You have a shirt-loop for that!
Sun has just stopped glaring into your eyes, but you don’t want to put your sunglasses too far away? Your shirt-loop has got your back!
Need more than one shirt? Bam, shirt-loop!
Well, I rest my case!
Can we please just all agree that these ridiculous things are just about as useless as the are stupid? Mainly the one because of the other.